Is This Really Happening?
by Lissical
Summary: Sam's reaction to finding out about Jed's MS. Post-ep for TFGKY.


Sam walked out of the Oval Office without saying a word. Could he have heard what the President said correctly? That President Josiah Bartlet had Multiple Sclerosis? Sam shook his head in disbelief as he headed back to his office.  
  
When he arrived, he saw Toby standing in the doorway. "I told you that I would be here when you were finished in there," he said, seeing that Sam wasn't even looking at him any longer.  
  
"Toby, if you don't mind, I would like to be alone for a little while, okay?" Sam said, his voice full of sadness and shock.  
  
"Yeah, alright. But my door is open if you feel the need to talk, Sam." Sam just nodded and continued into his office. Toby watched as Sam sat down at his desk and put his chin in his hand. Toby slowly headed back to his office.  
  
Sam just sat there for a moment, taking in what had just happened. He was called into the Oval Office for a reason that he was not aware of. The President and Leo sat him down and Bartlet told Sam the truth: that he had MS.  
  
'Why was I, or anyone else for that matter, not told about this before?' Sam thought to himself. It made so sense. It wasn't like he was going to up and leave and go back to Gage/Whitney. He would have stayed, as would the others. They were all faithful to the President.  
  
Sam stared down at his desk and rubbed his eyes. He was the last to find out. The last of the senior staff to find out about the disease. He felt as if he was being left out of the loop again. Only it was much worse this time. It wasn't a drop in this time. This time, it was something that could cost him and everyone else in the administration, their jobs. Not only their jobs, but also the President's as well.  
  
He began to think about last year, two days before the State of the Union Address. The President had passed out in his office. Everyone, including Leo at the time, thought it was the flu. And for over a year, they were led to believe that. Sam began to feel betrayed. The man whom Sam had come to know as a father figure had been lying to him for nearly three and a half years. No one was told during the campaign, and they were not told at their first staff meeting.  
  
Now, because of this, they were all going to be interrogated by Oliver Babish. They were going to have to answer questions that they would not know the answers to. Sam began to feel the pain of when his mother told him about his father. His father had lied to him, and so had the President.  
  
He began to cry silently as he sat at his desk, staring at the speech he had written. A couple of tears dropped onto the speech. Sam took his hand and ran it across his desk, causing the speech to fall to the floor. Why the hell was this happening? How could the President think that everything would be all right if it had remained a secret?  
  
He couldn't take it anymore. He had to go home, to get out of the building. Sam got up, put his memos in his briefcase, and then looked down at the floor. He picked up the speech and stuffed it into his briefcase and closed it. He took his coat off of the rack, put it on, and turned off the light. Before leaving, Sam looked over into Toby's office. He was still there.  
  
"I'm leaving for the night," Sam said in as calm a tone as possible.  
  
"Okay, are you sure you don't want to talk, Sam? I plan on staying here for awhile, finishing up some work."  
  
"Thanks, but I just need to leave right now," he said. Toby nodded.  
  
"Sam?" He turned around, "If you need to talk at all, call me, here or at home." Sam nodded his appreciation.  
  
As he walked out to the parking lot to his car, he wondered, what would life had been like had they known? Would anything be different, or would it all remain the same?  
  
As he drove home, Sam thought again about what the President said. He had a relapsing/remitting course of MS. It could turn into secondary progressive MS at any time. Sam was scared. He knew how debilitating this disease was. Why did President Bartlet have to have it?  
  
What would be the future of the administration? Sam thought to himself. Would the President be impeached? Would he resign? Would he try to run for re-election?  
  
"Is this really happening?" Sam wondered aloud. How would the public respond to this?  
  
He spent the rest of the drive home thinking, is this really happening? 


End file.
